I Am the Travel Agent

I know we all get Spam, chain letter, and jokes in our email daily. Today I got one that I actually took the time to read and I'm going to share it here. I know it's profession oriented and may not appeal to everyone, but for a Monday in the travel industry, it still shows what our days can be like.

I am the Travel Agent

I have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, business, computer science, civil engineering, and Swahili. I also can read minds and extend your credit line. Of course I still have the package reservation you put on hold six years ago, even though you never came in to purchase it. It's not a problem to give you seven connecting, nonsmoking, riverside suites with two king beds in each, four rollaways, and yes, I can install a wet bar. I know it's my fault the hotel does not have a helicopter landing pad and the stairwell from the third floor smells funny.

I am the travel agent…

I am expected to speak all languages and recall the names and frequent flyer numbers of your wife and your children (and your girlfriend). It is obvious to me that when you booked your flight for Friday, you really meant Saturday. I also realize you meant to book your reservation at the Hilton; people always confuse it with the Galaxy Delight Motel of Antarctica. Of course I can get you a cheap rate because you've been a member of AAA for 30 years, and I should have realized when I assigned you seat 23D that there was a screaming child in the next seat and your flight would be held on the runway for 55 minutes.

I am the travel agent…

I absolutely understand that the McGillicutty Widget Mfg. Co is a vast empire that will make or break my agency. Yes, I am lying when I say that the $100 flight for tomorrow is sold out; after all, you did hear it on the radio and see it in last Sunday's paper. I should have known that everyone else wanted to fly tomorrow, too. But it's not a problem for me to quickly construct several more 747's. I am quite capable of checking all the flights in July to see which one is the cheapest, answering 12 incoming phone calls, putting together eight documents while finding out why that cruise line won't give you a refund even though you refused the insurance. I know exactly what to see and do in every city in 15 minutes without spending any money. I take personal blame for airline delays, traffic jams, rental car flat tires, bad weather, lost luggage and the national economy.

I am the travel agent…

I am expected to smile, empathize, console, sell up, perform, sing, dance, fix the printer, clean the toilet and anticipate the next fare decrease.

I AM THE TRAVEL AGENT…

There should be one of these for each profession, don't you think?

Return to top